Y2-GAY: Government Approves Third Gender; DBA's Panic!
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Y2-GAY: Government Approves Third Gender; DBA's Panic!

(don't you hate it when you think of a y2k parody five years too late?)

The IT world is in shock today, after an amended piece of legislature officially classified homosexual males as a new, third, gender.

Chongo-developers and cowboy-hackers who previously hard-coded only two genders into their applications are now reaping the benefits as they are called out of retirement to alter software algorithms written as many as forty years ago.

Database Administrators throughout the Nation are swinging into action adding the new row to their lookup tables, or dropping and recreating CHECK constraints.

Meanwhile, the Association of Future-Proof Software, who have long advocated the inclusion of three 'Spare' entries at the end of every look up table, have issued a steady stream of smug press releases.

A special shuttle mission will make the perilous mission beyond Mars to track down and re-program the 'Angel-1' deep space probe, whose internal lookup tables erroneously contain only two genders. Although the oversight is considered unlikely to cause any problems during the unmanned probe's exploration of the furthest reaches of the solar system, officials are not willing to take any chances. And a team of specialist navy seals will journey deep into the Atlantic trench, over four miles beneath sea level, risking lethal pressures and unknown beasts with shiny dangly things on their foreheads, in a desperate mission to refresh the EPROM of a twenty-six year-old fissure monitoring system.

Leading insurance companies have already announced that they will not cover software malfunctions in any tech agency that doesn't immediately address the so-called Y2-Gay bug.

The legislature in question, originally designed to deal with lengthy waiting times at gymnasiums adjoining hair salons in ritzy suburbs, was amended to include the new gender at the last moment by radical left Senator Chasey Rhoderum. Chasey, a long time activist on issues regarding database-integrity, is already warning about the possible inclusion of a fourth, fifth and possibly a sixth and seventh gender. The days of the week have fled in terror, as have the months 'June' through 'September'. 'Unknown' continues it lengthy campaign for equality with 'True' and 'False'.



'Shaz 'geek'' on Thu, 17 Jun 2004 06:55:49 GMT, sez:

It is good to know that my husband spends so much of his time involved in such useful endevours. Although I must admit the site is looking really good

See you tonight, hon ;->



'Eric B.' on Thu, 17 Jun 2004 12:27:11 GMT, sez:

I sure hope the above comment is not bogus, because it totally, completely offsets the relative lameness of this post (in comparison to the enlightened and unfortunately true 'software lifecycle' that now adorns my cube).

Cheerios.



'secretGeek' on Thu, 17 Jun 2004 21:41:32 GMT, sez:

Thanks for the comment Shaz!

hi Eric, i can confirm that Shaz is most definitely real. And stunningly beautiful.

Glad you enjoyed the software lifecycle thing, it is indeed a true story.(http://www.secretGeek.net/lifecycle.asp)

Apologies for the lameness of the above post.

cheers
lb



'Already did that' on Sat, 10 Jul 2004 22:28:30 GMT, sez:

I can recall coding a patient intake form that had five gender choices.
Male
Female
Ambigious
Transgendered
Declined to State

The transgendered choice was controversial, many wanted to extend that to include pre-op and post-op designations as well as male to female or female to male.

.....



'secretGeek' on Sun, 11 Jul 2004 07:56:32 GMT, sez:

wow! that's amazing, Mr of Mrs 'Already did that'

so in addition to these:
Male
Female
Ambigious
Declined to State

you'd need to have:

transgendered pre-op male to female
transgendered pre-op female to male
transgendered post-op female to male
transgendered post-op male to female
transgendered pre-op ambiguous to female
transgendered pre-op ambiguous to male
transgendered post-op ambiguous to female
transgendered post-op ambiguous to male
transgendered pre-op male to ambiguous
transgendered pre-op female to ambiguous
transgendered post-op female to ambiguous
transgendered post-op male to ambiguous
transgendered pre-op ambiguous to other ambiguous
transgendered post-op ambiguous to other ambiguous
transgendered pre-op ambiguous to java developer
transgendered post-op ambiguous to java developer

i hope i haven't left anyone out. in any case you're all welcome at my site...

cheers
leon




'oz' on Wed, 02 Mar 2005 17:31:29 GMT, sez:

Funny shit guys, pre-op male to ambigous!!! comedy chop half of it off...




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