If this is your first day at stand-up YOU HAVE TO TALK.

Jesus almigthy! Employers are crying out for employees who "hit the ground running" and let me tell you, IT'S NOT THAT HARD.

And yet, I see people fail. Many, many people -- intelligent people -- they hit that first tiny hurdle, they bellyflop into it and collapse on the floor in a ball. Why people why!?

I guess I have to start by quoting the rules of 'fight club' since i'm clearly referencing them, and then I need to define what I mean by 'stand-up' since that is the matter at hand.

The rules of 'fight club'

1. The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club.
2. The second rule of Fight Club is, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club.
3. If someone says stop, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
4. Two guys to a fight.
5. One fight at a time.
6. No shirts, no shoes.
7. Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

About 'stand up'

By 'Stand up' I mean "the Daily Stand Up Meeting" as introduced by the scrum software methodology and (pretty much?) adopted by all software teams everywhere.

At stand up, you stand in a circle and each speak in turn. We stand up because time is precious. Each person says... well, let me just explain 'the rules of stand up' in the style of 'fight club'. Let's see:

If this is your first day at Stand Up, you have to talk.

The Rules of Stand Up

1. The first rule of Stand Up is, you do not talk while someone else is talking.
    
2. The second rule of Stand Up is, you DO NOT talk while someone else is talking.
    
3. You talk fast and you keep it moving fast.
    
4. Tell us what you did yesterday.
    
5. Tell us what you FAILED to do yesterday.
    
6. Tell us what you will do today.
    
7. Tell us who is BLOCKING you today.
    
8. If this is your first day at Stand Up, you have to talk.
    

I could go on, but I already have. ;-)