How to be a programmer
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How to be a programmer

    
   intellisense 
        ||
        \/
       code >>> compile >>>>> run >>>> success ;-)
        /\         ||          ||         
        ^^         \/          \/
        ^^      errors       errors 
        ^^          \\       //
        ^^           \\     //
        ^^             google
        ^^              ||
        \\              \/
         \<<<<<<<  copy N paste
;-)

Updated: can be animated!





'marty' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 02:40:21 GMT, sez:

oh my gawd!!!

I'm not a "Programmer" by profession, more a systems admin in windows, but I use vbscript (and some shell stuff) to do administrative tasks. (With Powershell coming up as a must-have skill)

And the above is how I do all that scripting work. I miss out on the intellisense bit (although I do use PrimalScript to do my initial bits) but other than that its cut-n-paste from websites and help files :)

You're giving the game away!!



'andrew/crucible' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 03:27:08 GMT, sez:

Mate, you just made my friday afternoon... fantastic start to the weekend.

Thanks for the laugh!



'Stefan' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 06:01:41 GMT, sez:

So, where's the Visual Studio Add-In that automatically queries Google on my error messages? ;-)



'MikeFitz' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 06:16:19 GMT, sez:

Stefan,

Yes! Wouldn't a "Google This" link on the error message save some time? (Rhetorical question. Of course it would.)



'Shellman' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 12:14:42 GMT, sez:

You got it right!



'retrospect ' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 15:01:23 GMT, sez:

the profile of the diagram looks like a desk...



'Ryan Smith' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 17:26:09 GMT, sez:

Between this and today's Daily WTF? it's a comical day in the technical blog world.

So much for getting world done.



'Marcos Meli' on Fri, 15 Sep 2006 20:17:49 GMT, sez:

Real funny WorkFlow =) hahahahah

Here is a second draft That shows the never ending loop =)


   intellisense
        ||
        \/
       code >>> compile >>>>  run  >>> success (you think) ;-)
        /\         ||          ||               ||
        ^^         \/          \/               \/
        ^^      errors       errors      customer error report
        ^^          \\       //                 ||
        ^^           \\     //                  \/
        ^^             google  <===== try to understand what happend
        ^^              ||
        \\              \/
         \<<<<<<<  copy N paste
Cheers
Marcos



'Ed' on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 20:28:26 GMT, sez:

Wait, I don't understand...there exists a path to success???



'Ricky Dhatt' on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 20:35:27 GMT, sez:

I'm blowing this diagram up and posting it on my wall.



'eCarlos' on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 05:49:47 GMT, sez:

You left out the most important part :), Hide your trails.

copy N Paste
\\//
remove comments from copied code to
hide that it is stolen
\\//
replace varnames with own standard



'Keli' on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 08:36:02 GMT, sez:

eCarlos>replace varnames with own standard

Standard? As in "must be 2 characters long or less." (Soon to be 3 due to running out of free combinations :P)



'Begemot' on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 11:20:55 GMT, sez:

Can I ask a question.

What does mean: stolen code? Do I need to discover hot water every day? ;)



'Slappy Longbottom' on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:44:51 GMT, sez:

Stolen is the code word for "Appreciating".

So it would be correct to state, "I have incorporated some code that I have appreciated." or "I appreciated the code that I used to finish the task."

"Good artists copy. Great artists steal."
- Pablo Picasso



'Thetra Shiple' on Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:46:14 GMT, sez:

And the best "Google".



'TrekCore' on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 12:18:01 GMT, sez:

We once found a System.exit(1) within code in a _Servlet's_ exception catch-block! Guess how it came there! And guess how we got suspicious that something was not quite right? :-)



'silly me' on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 18:54:43 GMT, sez:

and i kept expecting to see something phallic in the diagram ;)



'Oleg Andreev, Pegas' on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 06:53:25 GMT, sez:

Hi guys,

A little correction to your chart:

   Design document (any natural language)
         ||
         \/
        code >>> compile >>>>  run  >>> success (you think) ;-)
         /\         ||          ||               ||
         ^^         \/          \/               \/
         ^^      errors       errors      customer error report
         ^^          \\       //                 ||
         ^^           \\     //                  \/
         ^^             google  <===== try to understand what happend
         ^^              ||
         \\              \/
          \<<<<<<<  copy N paste


Note: Design document is written into .cpp (or whatever your source code file is).



'Josh' on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 22:58:10 GMT, sez:

Thanks a lot. As if my CS degree wasn't devalued enough. I spent 80k on it, and now you're just giving it away for free.



'lb' on Sun, 24 Sep 2006 23:12:57 GMT, sez:

(changed cut N paste to copy N paste after this obvious error was pointed out at codeproject)



'Pitarou' on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 10:54:24 GMT, sez:

Love the animation. Is this what is meant by the "waterfall" methodology?



'rsdn.ru' on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:44:52 GMT, sez:

&#1090;&#1072;&#1082; &#1080; &#1087;&#1088;&#1086;&#1080;&#1089;&#1093;&#1086;&#1076;&#1080;&#1090;. (&#1087;&#1088;&#1077;&#1074;&#1077;&#1076;!)



'Query' on Thu, 28 Sep 2006 02:02:17 GMT, sez:

Don't you feel sad about the never ending loop?&#21704;&#21704;



'http://' on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 11:56:18 GMT, sez:

<a>x<a/>



'Matthew' on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 14:40:23 GMT, sez:

Too true too true.

;)

I think you just hooked a new subscriber to your blog



'Schiaccianoci' on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 20:57:10 GMT, sez:

ROTFL..i'm still laughing



'Tamino73' on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 14:24:06 GMT, sez:

You see, this all belongs to the big circle of (software) life. All circle nothing is wasted :)



'Mary' on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 11:56:26 GMT, sez:

Naturally, I did a copy and paste of your cartoon! and linked to your site...

think of all those lawsuits between the big software corporations when they realize they're using each others' code. hilarious



'Umesh' on Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:53:26 GMT, sez:

simply Awesome!



'myself' on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:59:57 GMT, sez:

sweeet :-)



'Chirag' on Wed, 13 Dec 2006 12:19:00 GMT, sez:

Sir this is very cool for what you have done i wished i was also one of the good programmers plus a creative programmer like you i am not a programmer :( and i feel sorry for myself



'Still' on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 18:24:50 GMT, sez:

Comments disabled due to spam

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