Language is a remarkably fluid thing. And what's offensive to one minority today, may be quite acceptable tomorrow.

You want your racist slurs to remain cutting edge - but you don't want to re-deploy your entire offensive desktop application each time an insult changes.

Satellite Assemblies

It's always been best practice to avoid hard coding your prejudices into an application. Smart system architects using ".Net" technology will have already identified their volatile material and embedded it into a resource file in a satellite assembly. That way you can redeploy your insults and misconceptions on a site by site basis, targetting the specific prejudicial needs of the local users.

Enter the Internet...

But in an ever more connected world, your applications need to be culturally offensive on a global scale, and managing the changing insults of ignorant users the world over can become an intolerably difficult task.

For seriously connected applications, where cultural offense is as often changing as the moods of Allah, you need the power of a webservice. That's where racist.epithets.net step in, with their new CulturallyOffensive webservice.

The web service provides generic objects for handling all your culturally ignorant needs:

• CulturallyOffensive.StereoTypes
• CulturallyOffensive.Prejudices
• CulturallyOffensive.CommonMisconceptions
• CulturallyOffensive.ExtendedInsults
• CulturallyOffensive.QuickInsults
• CulturallyOffensive.BadTranslater

Noteable features

QuickInsults, is a handy subset of ExtendedInsults, optimized for speed, where each insult is no more than two syllables in length. Even the most backward redneck user should have no trouble annunciating these little gems.

What's the Catch?

You can subscribe to the basic functionality for free but the namespace extensions come at a price. If you want to use the HateCrime manifest and its LynchMob collection, you'll have to pay for the privelege. Payment is in American Dollars only.

Breast of luck

Danford.

Danford C Meridius is a guest columnist. His opinions are not those of the Secret Geek website. His advice is provided for satirical purposes and should not be followed.