52 great reasons to fail at software
secretGeek .:dot Nuts about dot Net:.
home .: about .: sign up .: sitemap .: secretGeek RSS

52 great reasons to fail at software

Subtitle: I just gave you 51 great excuses and you're still pushing that 'people' crap??

Earlier in the week I wrote "51 Core Abilities of Successful Software" in which i gave conclusive evidence that successful software is technically impossible.

Yesterday, Jeff Atwood posts "No Matter What They Tell You, It's a People Problem" giving a compelling and utterly convincing argument that ultimately the reason for failure is 'people'.

This argument always reminds me of the film, Soylent Green, in which it's ultimately revealed that the government is rationing out human flesh as the new staple diet:

[last lines]
Det. Thorn
It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. They're making our food out of people. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!

Hatcher
I promise, Tiger. I promise. I'll tell the exchange.

Det. Thorn
You tell everybody. Listen to me, Hatcher. You've gotta tell them! Soylent Green is people! We've gotta stop them somehow!

And yes... I agree.. but the HR Weasel in me says "it's not people, it's personnel!"

[last lines]
Bruce
It's personnel. Software is made out of personnel. They're making our code out of employees. Next thing they'll be breeding us like cubicle-cattle for off-shoring. You've gotta tell them. You've gotta tell them!

Jeff
I promise, Bruce. I promise. I'll tell the internets.

Bruce
You tell everybody at Digg. Listen to me, Jeff. You've gotta tell Del.Icio.us! Tell programming.reddit.com! Software is people! We've gotta stop them somehow!

And when you're a tiny little micro-isv, it's not personnel: it's personal. As in,

"This time, it's personal!" [1]

But you know - I'm just adding Jeff's assertion to my own: so now there's 52 great reasons to fail at software.

Hey, I like that. I'll make it the heading and blog this crazy shit!

52 great reasons to fail at software


[1] what is the source of that tag-line? One of the rambo films? one of the Rockies? All of the rambo films and all of the rocky films?





'Mike Breen' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:06:26 GMT, sez:

The tag-line is from "Jaws: The Revenge" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093300/



'lb' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:09:26 GMT, sez:

thank you Mike.

that does make some sense, although when you think about it, Jaws (the original) was fairly personal. Chief Brody's manhood was on the line, as well as his role as a protector to his family, his sense of esteem with his wife, and his job, with the mayor.

So I think it could be safely argued that it was always personal in the case of the Jaws films.



'kat' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:13:15 GMT, sez:

that's some bad hat harry



'kat' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:13:55 GMT, sez:

Mike beat me to it, sorry



'lb' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:15:56 GMT, sez:

@kat: I actually get what you're saying.

"that's some bad hat harry" is a quote from Jaws, [used by Bad Hat Harry productions, creators of the usual suspects]. So you was, lik,e subtlely 'tipping your hat' at Jaws.



'Kees' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:28:55 GMT, sez:

Leela: This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.

Fry: My God, what if the secret ingredient is people?

Leela: No, there's already a soda like that - Soylent Cola.

Fry: Oh. How is it?

Leela: It varies from person to person.

(and so it is with software)



'Mike Breen' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:38:12 GMT, sez:

I always thought the tag-line meant it was personal for the shark.



'Jet' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 11:42:07 GMT, sez:

@Mike, re: "personal for the shark"

i think that the plot suggests this is the case.

but knowing fish, i doubt it's plausible. and i doubt human audience are all that engrossed with fish feelings.

bring on the biting!!



'Mike Woodhouse' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:38:05 GMT, sez:

According to IMDB, the Jaws tagline was "This time... It's personal."

Whereas this gem, of which I was hitherto ignorant, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0482006/
, is rather closer, with "This time, it's personal..."

Tragically, this C$10,000 budget movie does not yet appear to have achieved a DVD release.

I'll get my coat...



'astroboy' on Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:43:09 GMT, sez:

That tagline was probably used in all kinds of movies. Here's another : BRADDOCK: MISSING IN ACTION 3 :http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.cfm/id/1014/page/braddock__missing_in_action___.html



'Picacodigos' on Sat, 12 Jan 2008 05:50:00 GMT, sez:

I've personally always cherished a version of the same, a quote from "Die Hard" (a movie brimming full of quotable lines, as many of the 80's action flicks). The line comes from Alexander Godunov character, Karl (one of the bad-asses), just before he engages Bruce Willis on a slapfest:

"We're both professionals. This is personal."

You gotta love that! I've been tempted more than once to utter that line to some DBA or sysadmin I was having an argument with...



'Farmer Jeb' on Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:30:58 GMT, sez:

Hmmm, even with my almost supernatural web-searching skills I cannot find a reference to the phrase "this time its personal" any earlier than 1987's "Jaws III". I would've thought it would go back further.
I had reason to quote Jaws just the other day when my one year old son, Eric, was playing in the bath - swamping his toy dinghy by dropping a toy whale into it; I said: "We're gonna need a bigger boat".



'Ben' on Mon, 14 Jan 2008 13:43:58 GMT, sez:

Haha. This is great! Thanks man!




name


website (optional)


enter the word:
 

comment (HTML not allowed)


All viewpoints welcome. But the right to delete any post for any reason is reserved. Don't make me do it. Aim for constructiveness. Comments may be republished, emailed to your loved ones or printed and used as toilet paper. Also, I get particularly nasty on comment spam. It's not worth even trying to post comment spam here -- your html is escaped, and your links are given a rel='nofollow'. By attempting to post a comment, you understand that if the comment is considered spam, at my absolute discretion, your IP address may be used as the target of a prolonged distributed denial of service attack. Your electricity might suddenly stop working. Your car tyres will go mysteriously flat. You will suffer permanent hairloss. Your dreams will be filled with terrifying monsters. And in any case I reserve the right to record and publish your IP address.

 

TimeSnapper is a life analysis system that stores and plays-back your computer use. It makes timesheet recording a breeze, helps you recover lost work and shows you how to sharpen your act.

 

NimbleText - FREE text manipulation and data extraction

NimbleText is a Powerful FREE Tool

Use it for:

  • extracting data from text
  • manipulating text
  • generating code

It makes you look awesome. Use it right now! Go on! Hurry! Don't walk, run!

 

Articles

Mind-boggling Demo of New Gaming Genre, aka Folder-Based Hangman, aka Fun with Recursion Mind-boggling Demo of New Gaming Genre, aka Folder-Based Hangman, aka Fun with Recursion
Got CSV in your javascript? Use agnes. Got CSV in your javascript? Use agnes.
I went to write down a book name and founded an internet empire instead. I went to write down a book name and founded an internet empire instead.
NimbleText: Origins NimbleText: Origins
The Windows 8 Mullet The Windows 8 Mullet
Cosby: spontaneous striped background generator Cosby: spontaneous striped background generator
Slides from WDCNZ: Live Coding Asp.net MVC3 Slides from WDCNZ: Live Coding Asp.net MVC3
MVC 3, MVC 3, "Third Times a Charm" references
Custom Errors in ASP.Net MVC: It couldn't be simpler, right? Custom Errors in ASP.Net MVC: It couldn't be simpler, right?
Anatomy of a Domain Hijacking, part 2: The Website Who Came In From The Cold Anatomy of a Domain Hijacking, part 2: The Website Who Came In From The Cold
Anatomy of a Domain Hijacking, part 1 Anatomy of a Domain Hijacking, part 1
secretGeek.net domain has been stolen. The site may go down. secretGeek.net domain has been stolen. The site may go down.
Boring article: 'untrusted domain' issue with SQL Server. Boring article: 'untrusted domain' issue with SQL Server.
Coding While You Commute Coding While You Commute
Test Driven Dentistry Is A Good Thing Test Driven Dentistry Is A Good Thing
The 'less crashy' release of NimbleText The 'less crashy' release of NimbleText
Rethinking Toolbars in Visual Studio (or any IDE) Rethinking Toolbars in Visual Studio (or any IDE)
Where shall we have lunch? Where shall we have lunch?
Setting up email for your microIsv Setting up email for your microIsv
The NO Visual Studio movement: Compiling .net projects in Notepad++ The NO Visual Studio movement: Compiling .net projects in Notepad++
ZeroOne: the editor for programmers who think in binary ZeroOne: the editor for programmers who think in binary
Mercurial workflow for personal projects (with a .net bias) Mercurial workflow for personal projects (with a .net bias)
I see you're using vim. Let me fix that for you. I see you're using vim. Let me fix that for you.
The worst recruitment spam I've ever read The worst recruitment spam I've ever read
A thank you I forgot to say A thank you I forgot to say
My new product, NimbleText, is live My new product, NimbleText, is live
Grabbing the free songs of Jonathan Coulton (with Powershell) Grabbing the free songs of Jonathan Coulton (with Powershell)
Using NimbleSet to compare lists Using NimbleSet to compare lists
Wanted: Wiki Lists (dot org) Wanted: Wiki Lists (dot org)
DOS on Dope: The last MVC web framework you'll ever need DOS on Dope: The last MVC web framework you'll ever need
JSON Query Languages: 5 special purpose editors JSON Query Languages: 5 special purpose editors
What then, is b? What then, is b?
SQLike: A simple editor SQLike: A simple editor
Yet Another BizPlan Generator. Yet Another BizPlan Generator.
HOT GUIDS: A hot or not site for guids HOT GUIDS: A hot or not site for guids
How does life get better? One tiny hack at a time. How does life get better? One tiny hack at a time.
24 things to do, and 100 things *not* to do (yet) for building a MicroISV 24 things to do, and 100 things *not* to do (yet) for building a MicroISV
Venture capital won't kill Jeff Atwood, it will only make him Jeffer. Venture capital won't kill Jeff Atwood, it will only make him Jeffer.
A handy workflow image for newbie mercurial users A handy workflow image for newbie mercurial users
Fractal Feedback, a diversion into recreational programming Fractal Feedback, a diversion into recreational programming
Hump-Jumping: How the Education of Computer Science can be Saved, err, maybe. Hump-Jumping: How the Education of Computer Science can be Saved, err, maybe.
Suggested User Experience Improvements for DiffMerge Suggested User Experience Improvements for DiffMerge
SQL Style Extensions for C# SQL Style Extensions for C#
The Movie Hollywood (And My Wife) Doesn't Want You To See: Weekend at Jacko's The Movie Hollywood (And My Wife) Doesn't Want You To See: Weekend at Jacko's
Sysi: the ultimate administrators toolkit Sysi: the ultimate administrators toolkit

Archives .: secretGeek :: Complete Archives
TimeSnapper -- Automated Screenshot Journal TimeSnapper.com    
Version 3.3: true productivity boost

Next Action NextAction
Managing the top of your mind

NimbleText -- World's Simplest Code GeneratorNimbleText -- World's Simplest Code Generator, Text Manipulator, Data Extractor

25 steps for building a Micro-ISV 25 steps for building a Micro-ISV
3 minute guides -- babysteps in new technologies: powershell, JSON, watir, F# 3 Minute Guide Series
Universal Troubleshooting checklist Universal Troubleshooting Checklist
Top 10 SecretGeek articles Top 10 SecretGeek articles
ShinyPower (help with Powershell) ShinyPower
Now at CodePlex

Realtime CSS Editor, in a browser RealTime Online CSS Editor
Gradient Maker -- a tool for making background images that blend from one colour to another. Forget photoshop, this is the bomb. Gradient Maker


[powered by Google] 


How to be depressed How to be depressed
You are not inadequate.



Recommended Reading


the little schemer


The Best Software Writing I
The Business Of Software (Eric Sink)

Recommended blogs

Jeff Atwood
Joseph Cooney
Phil Haack
Scott Hanselman
Julia Lerman
Rhys Parry
Joel Pobar
Thomas White
OJ Reeves
Eric Sink

Aggregated Links

proggit
dzone
hacker news
dot net kicks

Human Link Machines

interesting finds
a continuous learner's weblog
arjan's world
weekly link post

LinkedIn profile
LogEnvy - event logs made sexy
Computer, Unlocked. A rapid computer customization resource
PC Smart Buys - Computer Hardware in Australia
 
home .: about .: sign up .: sitemap .: secretGeek RSS .: © Leon Bambrick 2006 .: privacy

home .: about .: sign up .: sitemap .: RSS .: © Leon Bambrick 2006 .: privacy