secretGeek.netNot So Stunning Sentences
Here's an ironic little book advertisment I found at Amazon:
The en-dash is plain wrong (I'm certain the author would've used an em-dash), and a comma (or em-dash) is missing after the first 'or two' and I'd favour a hyphen in 'closely-related' (just personal preference there). But ouch! that elipsis sure saps the sentence of any residual Stun.
And even then, the sentence is particularly UN-STUNNING.
Here is the original:
MOST sentences should convey one idea-or two or two closely related ideas..."
While here is a far more STUNNING version:
Most sentences convey one idea, you poop-face.
Stunned? I know I am. Here's how I'd continue:
Some sentences convey two ideas, damn I like ice-cream.
See that? I'm telling a story and demonstrating it all at once. Then I'd finish like this:
And some sentences convey two closely-related ideas, like a snug pair of breasts or a sweaty set of testicles.
Pow! Whammo! Stun Plus Plus!
I've really gotta write a book on grammmer, one o' these days.
Next → ← PreviousMy book "Choose Your First Product" is available now.
It gives you 4 easy steps to find and validate a humble product idea.