The worst recruitment spam I've ever read

Sorry 'Bob Vogt' but you've sent me the worst recruitment spam I've ever read.

I've taken the time to catalog precisely what it is that makes your recruitment spam email, out of thousands of other competing emails, so very definitely the worst I have seen, will ever see or could ever see.

Here are the 7 ways you fail, in order from least to most significant.

1. Bad: You've sent me unsolicited email.
2. Bad: You've included a massive image in your email.
3. Bad: The job is in the US. (I'm in Australia)
4. Worse: The job is in Dayton OHIO.
5. Worse: Your grammar is an atrocity.
6. Worse: The job involves sharepoint.
7. Worst: You're using comic fucking sans.

 

'JonR' on Thu, 03 Feb 2011 11:20:04 GMT, sez:

50% of my daytime email is for Sharepoint contracts in shitty locations nowhere near my home. i would rather hammer tent pegs down my urethra etc.

'lb' on Thu, 03 Feb 2011 11:26:44 GMT, sez:

Just fingers crossed I haven't blown my chances at the job by writing that blogpost.

'Chip Camden' on Thu, 03 Feb 2011 15:07:13 GMT, sez:

#7 is the worst by far. Maybe he thinks that he can fool you into reading it by masquerading as a forwarded message from an obnoxious family member.

'SenseiLoco' on Sun, 06 Feb 2011 19:29:11 GMT, sez:

Definitely, #6 should be 'Go to Hell!' I had a short engagement and my experience left me with a 'never again!' feeling.

'mike' on Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:14:06 GMT, sez:

What about the cheesy acrostic?

'lb' on Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:24:16 GMT, sez:

@mike: if I'd known the word 'acrostic' I would've definitely included that in the list. Cool.

'Chris' on Wed, 09 Feb 2011 13:35:22 GMT, sez:

I'm having trouble understanding why suggesting that someone work in Dayton, Ohio is worse than sending them an unsolicited email.

'Kyle' on Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:17:10 GMT, sez:

hey cool! That looks just like the type of job that I've been looking for. And it's in my hometown too! Thanks for posting this Leon.

'belugabob' on Sat, 12 Feb 2011 11:54:10 GMT, sez:

At least he didn't ask you if you knew anybody else who might be interested in the job.

That's right Mr "I couldn't hack it as an estate agent" - I refuse to do your job for you. Especially as that would involve me iritating my friends by forwarding your abomination of an email to them.

Rant over... :-)

'Glenn Gutmacher' on Thu, 05 May 2011 18:50:33 GMT, sez:

You guys are cracking us up. No images, no comic sans font, and no unsolicited email (since you are soliciting blog comments :-) in this message, Leon: I'm a recruiter at Avanade (the $1B global IT services firm owned by Accenture and Microsoft, founded in 2000), so we have plenty of career-building full-time jobs on the .NET platform but not limited to SharePoint (always using the latest version!) in Australia (see www.avanade-jobs.com/locgrp/Australia-Jobs/268/ ) and the US (Chicago in the midwest, not Dayton!) and many other places (including travelling-focused consulting roles that let you experience more than one location) so you can visit www.avanade-jobs.com and create your own custom job agents.

'mignon' on Tue, 14 Jun 2011 16:34:17 GMT, sez:

i'm familiar with Bob Vogt's work and am in some doubt that the jobs are even real.

'cute messages' on Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:22:05 GMT, sez:

That's right Mr "I couldn't hack it as an estate agent" - I refuse to do your job for you.

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All viewpoints welcome. But the right to delete any post for any reason is reserved. Don't make me do it. Aim for constructiveness. Comments may be republished, emailed to your loved ones or printed and used as toilet paper. Also, I get particularly nasty on comment spam. It's not worth even trying to post comment spam here -- your html is escaped, and your links are given a rel='nofollow'. By attempting to post a comment, you understand that if the comment is considered spam, at my absolute discretion, your IP address may be used as the target of a prolonged distributed denial of service attack. Your electricity might suddenly stop working. Your car tyres will go mysteriously flat. You will suffer permanent hairloss. Your dreams will be filled with terrifying monsters. And in any case I reserve the right to record and publish your IP address.

 

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