Translating a little bit of (microsoft) double talk...
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Translating a little bit of (microsoft) double talk...

I think that microsoft are pretty open these days. But (maybe for legal reasons) they can't always say what they mean. And on such occasions it's up to us, the community, to step forward and translate the double talk.

Here's a snippet from the launch page for a new technology: Jasper

I'll try and translate, here goes...

Jasper leverages the power of dynamic languages and the concept of convention over configuration to provide a programming surface for data that enables rapid development of data-bound applications. While most other rapid data access frameworks are only capable of working against simple databases, Jasper can scale to almost any database, regardless of size or complexity. This is possible because Jasper takes advantage of the ADO.NET Entity Framework’s significant investments in mapping and conceptual data modeling.

Okay -- let me repeat that bunch of mumbo jumbo, with some commentary. (Emphasis is mine, and sections in [square brackets] provide added meaning).

Jasper leverages the power of dynamic languages and the concept of convention over configuration....

[We owe a huge debt of gratitude to David Heinemeier Hansson (dhh) for this concept, but do you think that we'd stop and actually thank him by name? Not on your life!]

...to provide "a programming surface for data" that enables rapid development of data-bound applications.

[You know, like Ruby on Rails. Again, pity we're not tough enough to mention it by name.]

While most "other" rapid data access frameworks...

[Okay -- when we say 'most', we don't mean we've actually polled all other data access frameworks and determined that this attribute is characterisic of the majority. All we mean is, you know, "Ruby on Rails."]

are only capable of working against "simple databases",

[plays into some recent FUD about RoR. Translation: F*** you DHH!]

Jasper can scale to almost any database, regardless of size or complexity.

[When we say 'Almost any database' we mean (as you'll see later in the page) "SQL Server Express or any other SQL Server 2005 edition, is required in order to use Jasper" -- so it's any database you like, as long as it's SQL Server 2005.]

This is possible because Jasper takes advantage of the "ADO.NET Entity Framework’s" significant investments in mapping and conceptual data modeling.

[Remember WinFS? Remember we spent thousands of years of developer effort and billions of dollars, and delayed Vista by years... and ended up canning the whole thing. Well the only thing we salvaged from the whole sorry fiasco, was something called the ADO.Net Entity Framework. It allows you to use three synonyms, -- entity, object and model -- with three other synonyms -- schema, domain and framework -- to produce up to 36 different connotations from just two simple concepts. There's no problem so simple that developers can't over engineer it. Anyway -- when we say 'Significant Investments' we mean billions of lost dollars! and, well, let's be honst, we really mean, F*** YOU DHH! You cannot hope to challenge us! We are massive! We are the borg! We will add your technical and cultural distinctiveness to our own! We do not sleep!]

Oh, the blog entry just peters out at this point. Weird. Add your own ending. Choose your own adventure.





'WaterBreath' on Fri, 11 May 2007 12:51:18 GMT, sez:

> Jasper can scale to almost any database, regardless of size or complexity.

> [When we say 'Almost any database' we mean (as you'll see later in the page) "SQL Server Express or any other SQL Server 2005 edition, is required in order to use Jasper" -- so it's any database you like, as long as it's SQL Server 2005.]

I think it's important here to make a distinction between a "database" and a "DBMS", or database engine.

The SQL Server, Oracle, MySQL, et al families are DBMSs, not databases. A database is a schema of tables and relationships, stored code, etc. that you use a DBMS to store and manage.

I think this latter meaning is central to their point. The criticism of RoR is not that it's only good for simple DBMSs like MySQL. It's that it's only good for simple _data models_. This can be, has been, and will continue to be debated, and I don't know enough about Ruby or Rails to weigh in. But I'm confident this is where MS is drawing a distinction between Jasper and RoR: its handling of complex schemas.



'Mike Woodhouse' on Fri, 11 May 2007 12:52:56 GMT, sez:

A quick run around the various MSDN blogs suggests that, well, it's another gloriously over-engineered piece of work, as one might expect from the gloriously over-engineering ADO.NET team.

I don't think we're really talking comparison with RoR here - ActiveRecord, maybe, but that's about all, and only for SQL Server at present, which rather limits the thing to ... well, to their intended audience, most likely.

And of course, the name is rather sad.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jasper :
"... an opaque, impure variety of quartz, usually red, yellow or brown in color...."



'lb' on Fri, 11 May 2007 12:57:33 GMT, sez:

@waterbreath
oh i fully agree -- i think this is what they mean -- but they're meaning is something other than what they're actually saying.

you and i are used to reading between the lines, because we're ms developers of old.

but for the majority of developers this is just another confusing chunk of text that ms have put out, and the tool is simply ruined by the fact that the tool is sql 2005 only.

i've got a lot of clients using sql 2005... and yet they only account for maybe 20% of my client base, and maybe 5% of the total client pool out there.

it's a sucky limitation that makes jasper fun from a tech p.o.v. but sucky from a lot of other points of view. MOST points of view, really.



'lb' on Fri, 11 May 2007 12:59:28 GMT, sez:

@mike:
jasper... is surely named after the friendly ghost.

i haven't used jasper and wonder if it is based on blinq.

i'd hate to be insulting the wonderful Polita! go phuff!




'A friendly ghost' on Fri, 11 May 2007 18:49:03 GMT, sez:

I believe the friendly ghost's name was Casper.

Given MS's penchant for naming projects after British Columbia landmarks, I would venture to guess Jasper was named after the national park of that name.



'Jonathan Allen' on Sun, 13 May 2007 14:04:14 GMT, sez:

> I think it's important here to make a distinction between a "database" and a "DBMS", or database engine.

I think it is important here to point out that quibbling over the difference between database and DBMS is a complete waste of time.



'Tippy the Wonder Mutt' on Sun, 13 May 2007 16:20:10 GMT, sez:

This post is so freakin true that its almost not funny.



'Farmer Jeb' on Sun, 13 May 2007 23:43:54 GMT, sez:

When I was studying for my MCSD exams back in the late 1990s, I came across a Microsoft definition for "portable". It went along the lines of "an application is portable if it will run on ANY computer running Windows 95".



'lb' on Sun, 13 May 2007 23:48:31 GMT, sez:

@Jeb:
>an application is portable if it will run
>on ANY computer running Windows 95

love it.



'mark' on Mon, 14 May 2007 10:41:24 GMT, sez:

Wow...that's quite a rant of RoR fanboy cruft.



'Steve Trefethen' on Mon, 14 May 2007 19:52:16 GMT, sez:

Thanks for the translation and giving me a smile here on a Monday.



'lb' on Mon, 14 May 2007 20:40:37 GMT, sez:

@mark: "RoR fanboy cruft"

wtf? That's precious.

I've dished plenty on RoR, don't worry.




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